Day 20: Where does the time go?

I didn't realize it had been some 2 weeks since I'd written anything here.  I was down a 3# last week, so that's good.  I have been having some issues this week though.  Some are physical, but some are mental.

On the mental front, our leader suggested that we come up with a mantra, something that we can use to help keep us on track.  I thought about it for several days, and what I came up is sort of longish, less of a mantra and more of a manifesto, but it ends with a power phrase that can be considered a mantra.  It goes something like this:

Let n be the number of journeys I will embark on before arriving at a healthier lifestyle.  Let n be the number of learning experiences I am going to have to undertake to truly control my weight.  Let n be the number of times it will take for me to succeed.

This is my n.

I have used this a few times, mostly when I was in the car going to get dinner and was tempted to pick up a snack for myself.  I think the idea of having a mantra (to reinforce the decisions to "do the right thing") is a good thing, so hopefully this is another tool.  We'll see whether it's worthy of being a lifelong tool.

I've also noticed that with healthy foods in the house it's much easier for me to snack on them, and I've not been eating very much lately.  I am very low on my points usage this week, and I think I'm going to have to do something about that.  I worry that I'm a bit too focused on losing weight and I'm going to overdo it, and eventually the willpower that I'm relying on will wane.

But on the physical side of things, I'm eating when I get hungry, and I'm really trying to "listen" to my stomach and when it's full, I stop eating.  Coupled with the fact that I've not been stuffing myself, I actually didn't finish my salad from McDonald's yesterday (though I did have a bag of popcorn a few hours later).  Today, I got a 12-inch sandwich from Subway, and had to stop eating for 20 minutes after eating 1/4 of it.  I did eventually eat 1/2 of it, but at that point I was full, and even now, I feel like I am still full and don't want to eat anything.

I also have been watching my blood glucose numbers and while I would still consider myself heavily medicated, I have stopped using Humalog/Apidra altogether and I'm not sure I need as large a dose of Lantus.  My numbers have been in the solid good range (under 120) even after eating ... but that's because I'm hardly eating.

So I guess what worries me is that while the results are probably good, you could definitely argue with the methods.  And I'm a bit worried that it's going to bite me in the butt soon.